Icha Icha Chronicles: Tactics
by Hoshikawa Subaru
Summary: What happens in the aftermath of the previous chapter of the Icha Icha Chronicles when Naruto and Hinata finally got together? Disclaimer: Hoshikawa Subaru does not own Naruto.
1. Prologue

**Icha Icha Chronicles: Tactics**

What happens in the aftermath of the previous chapter of the Icha Icha Chronicles when Naruto and Hinata finally got together? Disclaimer: Hoshikawa Subaru does not own Naruto.

Prologue: The Morning After

Naruto and Hinata woke up the morning after in Naruto's apartment, in bed….no you perverts they were fully clothed. You know who you are. No they did not do "that" when their date had finished the previous night.

Hinata was the first up….well almost, Naruto was still on top of her breathing softly on her neck and she couldn't even move. And even worse, his hands were on her ahem "assets" (What! I'm not going to write that, no matter what Jiraiya says this is not going to be an M rated fic!)

_Jiraiya: YOU ARE NOT WORTHY TO WRITE MY BOOKS!!!! EMBRACE YOUR INNER PERVERT, THEN YOU SHALL BE ABLE TO CONTINUE MY MASTERPIECES!!!!!_

_H.S: WHAT THE HELL JIRAIYA!!!! No breaking the 4__th__ wall!!!!!_

_Jiraiya: Look H.S, I liked the stuff you wrote in your first Icha Icha to set things up, but don't leave the reader hanging like that! Give them something a little more "intimate"_ _to_ _spice things up and really get the relationship going!_

_H.S: You just want more "research" opportunities don't you Ero-Sennin._

_Jiraiya: DAMN STRAIGHT....AND DON'T CALL ME THAT! NARUTO DOES THAT ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!_

_H.S: Fine I'll try to fit some of that in. Can I get back to the fic now? That's enough 4__th__ wall breaking._

_Jiraiya: NOT UNTIL YOU PERV IT UP SOME MORE!_

_H.S: Do you want another "research" trip with Tsunade or not?_

_Jiraiya: SEEYA!_

Going back to classic Hinata, she began blushing until she looked like she'd been boiled alive when she saw that Naruto was beginning to wake up as well.

"Mmph…g'morning Hi..na..ta…chan…" which is when he realized what he was grabbing on to. "GAH!!!! I'm sorry Hinata-chan! It wasn't my fault! I didn't know what I was doing! I…I…"

He didn't get to finish as Hinata sealed it with a lip lock that led into a 10 minute make out session. When they finally came back up, the first one to speak was surprisingly, Hinata.

"Naruto-kun I know you didn't mean to do that, I trust you enough to know that you wouldn't. I wouldn't expect anything less from the man I love."

Naruto just blushed and looked at his girlfriend with the same kind of love and compassion that he felt since they had admitted their love or each other.

"Thank you Hinata-chan. It's for that reason why I feel like the luckiest guy in the world just to have you. To make it up to you why not go to Ichiraku's for a breakfast date, dattebayo!" earning him a small laugh from his girlfriend.

The couple just smiled at each other after that and moved to change into their normal ninja clothes before heading out to spend a day with each other in Konoha. (NO they did not change together)

As they headed out though, a shadowy figure entered the apartment from his spot near the window as the couple left….

Who is this figure, and why is he at Naruto's apartment? To be continued…


	2. Chapter 1: Mystery…And WTF Looks

**Icha Icha Chronicles: Tactics**

What happens in the aftermath of the previous chapter of the Icha Icha Chronicles when Naruto and Hinata finally got together? Disclaimer: Hoshikawa Subaru does not own Naruto.

Chapter 1: Mystery…And WTF Looks

The shady character walked in wearing a mask from the window, and if this were a normal guy breaking into the apartment, what he did next would be a WTF overstatement….he went to the fridge.

"He still doesn't listen, he really does need to eat more vegetables."

Yes, this is Kakashi, the silver haired Jounin and Naruto's sensei who read smut. Apparently he went over to wake Naruto up for training (hey it was noon already.. Kakashi's even late to wake Naruto up to go to his 6AM training seesion…when he always arrived at noon anyway.) but discovered he was gone.

Eyeing the milk carton on the table he saw that Hinata had basically drawn the cow in Naruto's clothes on one side and Naruto drew the cow in Hinata's clothes on the other. Kakashi just did an eye-smile and probably did what no other person besides MasakoX and Vegeta3986 would probably have predicted…

"Ha ha….Moo."

"Still addicted to the milk Kakashi? And people say I'm psychotic."

Kakashi just did a mental facefault. _Please don't let that be who I think it is…_

He turned to find what he had feared….fishnet shirt and trench coat, the purple haired serpent kunoichi.

"Anko…how did you find me."

"I stalk you sometimes."

_WTF!!!!!_

"Wait until I tell the other ANBU about this! Ibiki's going to have a field day!"

Kakashi stood there in fear. If Ibiki found out, then Gai would find out. And if Gai found out, there would be no end to the green spandex covered nightmares coming from his so-called lifelong rival.

_Time to make you mine Kakashi_

Just as Anko was leaving, Kakashi finally spoke up.

"Anko, wait, isn't there something I can do to make you change you mind?"

_GOT 'IM!!!_

The snake mistress turned to him with that insane smile of hers. Seeing Hinata and Naruto make out in public the other day made her want to try it out for herself….with some more adult features attached. And Kakashi, she wanted to make him get out of that book so that he would notice her. And damn it if that overly shy Hyuuga girl could do it so easily with some loud-mouthed gaki who was as dense as a brick, Kakashi would be cakewalk.

"Well, Kakashi, how 'bout we go get some dango, then instead of reading that book of yours I can show you what my "milk" tastes like…."

_Thank kami for this mask, she can't see my nosebleed!_

"Well, someone's a little excited by that thought. I can see the nosebleed already."

_HOW THE HELL DOES SHE DO THAT!_

"Come on you perv, LET'S GO FOR IT!!!"

As she dragged him away towards the dango shop, which was near her apartment Kakashi only had one thought…

_SO MUCH BETTER THAN ICHA ICHA!!!_

And as Kakashi was dragged away by Anko, another pair enters the midst of our starred NaruHina duo at Ichiraku.

Next time: Misunderstanding and a mind numbing success! Try and guess who's involved in the next chapter. To be continued.


	3. Chapter 2: Misunderstanding

**Icha Icha Chronicles: Tactics**

What happens in the aftermath of the previous chapter of the Icha Icha Chronicles when Naruto and Hinata finally got together? Disclaimer: Hoshikawa Subaru does not own Naruto.

Chapter 2: Misunderstanding and a mind numbing success!

We rejoin Naruto and Hinata's breakfast date where the two are sharing an extra large miso pork ramen….yes sharing…and Naruto didn't inhale it all. (If you didn't get enough WTF expressions from the last chapter, make one now.) Apparently when he's around Hinata he can restrain himself.

*Timeskip*

_Jiraiya: WHOA WHOA WHOA! THIS IS NOT SOME SHIPPUDEN FANTARD TIMESKIP! AND NO H.S! YOU DO NOT HOLD THE FAST FORWARD BUTTON FOR THIS ANIME!_

_H.S: Actually, yes I do. And what the hell, Jiraiya? What happened to you since chapter 1?Didn't you go leave? _

_Jiraiya: Yeah, well I got sick of waiting for my "research" trip with Tsunade-hime. ME WANTS MY HENTAI SCENE!_

_H.S: Sorry, that's not due for another two chapters or so and…HEY WAIT! JIRAIYA DID THE FANTARDS MAKE YOU TRY AND GET SPOILERS!_

_Jiraiya: Maybe….WHAT?!!! THEY GAVE ME GOOD "RESEARCH" MATERIAL!!! I COULDN"T PASS UP THE OPPORTUNITY! IT WAS YURI FOR KAMI'S SAKE!_

_H.S: Ero-Sennin, let me go back to finishing this chapter or no subtle, barely T-rated hentai scene for you! _

_Jiraiya: Sayonara….AND STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!_

_*Author takes his awesome anime fanfic remote and uses his powers to speed up time until Naruto and Hinata are down to the last noodle.*_

Yes, classic Lady and the Tramp scene, Naruto and Hinata are closing in to finish the last noodle, his arm around her waist…pulling her in…his hand is starting to sink lower (Yes she does not mind)…lips about an inch apart….closer…..closer….almost there…

_Naruto: Hey H.S quit the slow motion and let me make out with my Hinata-chan, dattebayo!_

_H.S: WHAT THE HELL!!! HOW DID YOU FIND ME HERE!!!!...Jiraiya…of course, why am I not surprised._

_Naruto: Yes, Ero-Sennin…_

_Jiraiya: DAMN IT GAKI, I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!_

_H.S: JIRAIYA, WILL YOU LEAVE ALREADY!!! I DON'T CARE IF THERE IS A MIXED ONSEN NEARBY YOU'RE BURNING UP VALUABLE SCREENTIME!!!_

_Jiraiya: BUT I LIKE MY SCREENTIME!!! AFTER KISHIMOTO MAKES PEIN KILL ME AND AFTER NARUTO KILLS HIM LATER ON I'M GETTING LESS SCREENTIME THAN TENTEN!!!_

_TenTen: I DON'T GET THAT LITTLE SCREENTIME!!!_

_H.S: Jiraiya, WILL YOU JUST GO!!!_

_Jiraiya: Fine, fine, sheesh._

_Naruto: Back to what I was saying, yes Ero-sennin (Jiraiya: DAMMIT!!!) told me about your anime remote so….STOP SCREWING AROUND WITH OUR LIVES!!! JUST BECAUSE YOU DON"T HAVE ONE DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN SCREW AROUND WITH OURS!!! THIS IS WHY YOU WRITE FANFICTION, DATTEBAYO!!!!!_

_H.S: AT LEAST I HAVE AN ACTUAL LIFE AND MY LIFE ISN'T DETERMINED BY SOME JAPANESE GUY WHO RELEASES ABOUT 20 MINUTES OF MY LIFE EVERY FRIDAY ON !!!_

_Naruto: Ah, touché._

_Iruka: WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP USING MY SIGNATURE PHRASE!!!_

_H.S: OKAY PEOPLE ENOUGH 4__th__ WALL BREAKERS OR ELSE MasakoX AND Vegeta3986 ARE GOING TO SUE ME FOR COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!!! _

Back to Naruto and Hinata about an inch away from making out…

Until the scene was totally ruined by a fangirlish squeal.

"KAWAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Followed by a "This is so troublesom….BONG…OW!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR YOU CRAZY WOMAN!!!"

"THIS IS SO ROMANTIC! DON'T KILL THE MOMENT BY SAYING SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!!"

"You know, you screaming out loud like that just killed the mood already."

For those of you who haven't guessed it by now, the pair that just ruined the atmosphere, leaving Naruto and Hinata in anime tears was the pair of Nara Shikamaru and Yamanaka Ino. Ino just stared back at Konoha's most well known couple sheepishly.

"Oops….sorry… didn't mean to ruin it. I kind of got carried away."

Inner Ino: "HOLY CRAP THAT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!!! WHY CAN"T I BE THAT WAY WITH MY SHIKA-KUN!!! I'M KONOHA'S BEST TEEN ROMANCE GURU, DAMMIT, WHY CAN'T I BE LIKE HINATA!!!!!" (Cries Anime tears)

Hinata was the first to speak after Ino's apology.

"It's alright Ino-san, me and Naruto-kun make out all the time"

"Yeah but, he was so close to groping your ass!"

"….I don't mind, I let Naruto-kun touch me everywhere because I trust him that way."

"And besides, I don't just touch her _that _way dattebayo."

"Naruto-kun!"

In Shikamaru's and Ino's mind: "LUCKY BASTARDS!!!!!"

Inner Ino: …. (still crying anime tears in the corner)…

"Yea, but it's so troublesome in public, aren't you embarrassed?!!"

"SHIKAMARU!!! IT ISN'T EMBARASSING TO EXPRESS HOW YOU FEEL TOWARDS SOMEONE IN PUBLIC!!!"

"Chill out, Ino. Why would you care how they would do that, or more importantly how would you know?..."

Ino just stood there in front of him, face towards the ground, and what she said to him took him totally by surprise.

"DAMMIT SHIKAMARU, CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT YOU!" 

Cue Shikamaru with a "…" look on his face. For a genius with an IQ over 200, he couldn't process this feeling he suddenly had for his teammate. His mind basically just crashed and the reboot loading screen was coming back up so zeta slow. What he did next made Naruto and Hinata go "WTF!!!!", every female within a 20 mile radius go fangirl, every male wolf whistling and the author inspired to write more chapters for his fanfiction until he got to Jiraiya's and Tsunade's hentai scene…WHAT THE HELL!!!

_H.S: Jiraiya get away from my keyboard!!!_

_Jiraiya: YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE PERVY GOODNESS!!! IT WILL CATCH UP WITH YOU!!!_

_Anyway back to the story. I hope I got everything…dammit Jiraiya had better not have been looking up porn, … or worse, he better not have downloaded that last part about me being inspired to write up to his scene on my account, or my reputation would be ruined…OH CRAP!!! DO NOT READ THE PREVIOUS SENTENCE!!!_

Shikamaru went and planted one on Ino out of nowhere. Ino was in a daze, Shikamaru was sporting a blush that could have rivaled Hinata's, Hinata was going fangirl, and Naruto was slapping Shikamaru on the back and congratulating him. Then of course, doing her best Hinata imitation, Ino fainted.

Shikamaru, being the considerate teammate he is, bent over Ino to see if she's okay.

ANIME FANGIRL GLOMP IN 3,….2,….1…..

*GLOMP*

"I LOVE YOU SHIKAMARU-KUN!!!"

Shikamaru returned the embrace with his newfound lover.

"I love you too Ino, but why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I thought you had a thing for Temari, so I was afraid you'd reject me."

Shikamaru just laughed as he explained.

"Ino, Temari already has a boyfriend, Vegeta3986."

_H.S: WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAY ABOUT NOT WANTING TO BE SUED BY MasakoX AND Vegeta3986 FOR COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!!!_

_Shikamaru: Hey, you're the one writing the story._

_H.S: Ah, touché._

_Iruka: Dammit!_

And with this Shikamaru and Ino happily resumed making out…until Naruto coughed, causing them to separate with blushes on their faces.

"If you two don't mind, me and Hinata-chan are going to go and train!"

And they left, leaving Ino and Shikamaru alone…until Shikamaru decided to break the silence.

"Hey Ino, do want to try what Naruto and Hinata tried?"

Ino blushed hard. "W-What Shikamaru-kun! We're too y-young for _that_!"

Shikamaru stared back at his girlfriend stoically.

"Ino, I don't want to force you to do _it_, but I just want to try and express the way I feel about you in the best way possible."

Ino stared back at him, smiling with tears in her eyes "Okay Shikamaru-kun, I'll try but only to show how I feel for you in return!"

They disappeared into the Nara compound that night, with Ino moaning until the wee hours of the morning, with an angry Yoshino smacking her son over the head, welcoming Ino to the family, and Shikaku giving his son props…and the dreaded "birds and the bees" talk. (You could hear the screams from the Nara compound for hours!)

The next day:

"Wow, Shika-kun, last night was amazing!"

"I know, I could tell by the way you were screaming."

"Tell me about it, it still hurts down there. I never knew you could learn how to use your Kage jutsu that way!"

"Yeah, and I never knew that you knew how to use your mind transferring jutsu like that my naughty little boar." BONG! "WHAT WAS THAT FOR!!!!"

"FOR CALLING ME FAT SHIKA-KUN!!!"

"OW! OW! STOP IT YOU CRAZY WOMAN!!!"

Naruto and Hinata walked up to them with only one thought in mind.

_This is one fucked up relationship_

"I see you two are getting along well."

Shikamaru and Ino walked up to them scowling and said together:

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU HAVE SEX AND NOT GET CAUGHT!!!"

Naruto and Hinata looked at each other with a WTF look on their faces.

"What are you talking about? We didn't have sex."

Shikamaru and Ino looked at each other confounded.

"Then what did you mean when you said you touched Hinata in other ways than _that_."

Naruto and Hinata looked and each other and started laughing….until they were ROFLing for about 5 minutes until Hinata spoke up.

"What Naruto-kun meant by that was her gives me massages sometimes, that's all. We never went that far!"

Shikamaru and Ino facefaulted to the ground laying on top of each other while they were unconscious. Naruto and Hinata just stared at them and smiled at the two new lovers.

_That was a long Chapter. Next: Sasuke vs. Neji: Training Gone Wrong! To be Continued… _


	4. Chapter 3: Sasuke vs Neji

**Icha Icha Chronicles: Tactics**

What happens in the aftermath of the previous chapter of the Icha Icha Chronicles when Naruto and Hinata finally got together? Disclaimer: Hoshikawa Subaru does not own Naruto.

Chapter 3: Sasuke vs. Neji: Training Gone Wrong!

As Naruto and Hinata made their way over to the training ground, they spotted that there was someone present there already: Team Gai and Team 7 with a heated match between Sasuke and Neji.

Neji already had his Byakugan activated where Sasuke had his Sharingan on and was charging a Chidori up in the palm of his hand.

Once it was charged Sasuke was running up towards Neji aiming a killing strike at his head…

…until Neji did a rotation and Jyuukened him in the forehead….and then Sasuke began to spazz out due to intense emo psychological trauma.

"OMG!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!! WHY ITACHI NII-SAN!!!!! WHY DID YOU KILL OUR FAMILY!!!! I'LL KILL YOU, YOU F***ING BASTARD!!!!!"

Then Sasuke ran up to Neji from behind and Neji looked like he still hadn't recoiled and Sasuke got him in the back of the head with a kunai.

THUNK

Neji fell to the ground with TenTen running up to him crying….until Neji was replaced by a log.

CUE SASUKE EMO SPAZZING

"I….HATE….THE …LOG!!!!!!!!!"

Neji reappeared beside TenTen and did something that no one suspected he knew how to do….he became MC Hammer.

"DA NA NA NA! DA NA! DA NA!

CAN'T TOUCH THIS!

DA NA NA NA! DA NA! DA NA!

CAN'T TOUCH THIS!"

At this point

Naruto was like this: O______O

Hinata had facefaulted

TenTen was ROFLing

Sasuke was still spazzing out

Sakura and Inner Sakura were having a schizoid-esque argument over whether Sasuke or Lee was better.

Everything just stood still until Sakura stepped up to the bad MC Hammer imitation and poked him in the forehead, namely his caged bird seal because she had enough of listening to the Family Guy version that she saw yesterday night on a foreign channel called FOX. As soon as her fingers it the seal, Neji felt it burn in his forehead and fell to the ground, writhing in pain as the seal burned in his skull.

In turn, TenTen responded immediately by running up to Sakura with a chainsaw she had pulled out of her scroll.

"WHAT THE FUC-!!!!"

But she never finished with TenTen hitting her smack in the chest about 5 seconds later, then rushing over to Neji, who was writhing in agony.

"SAKURA!!!"

Sasuke ran up to Sakura….yes, this time he's not trying to be the emo avenger he's stereotyped for. After he witnessed the fight between her and Hinata, the young Sharingan wielder began to hold his pink haired teammate in a different light…and secretly he had a fetish for violent women like Sakura but just hid it REALLY, REALLY well.

Tears welled in his eyes as he came closer and closer to Sakura's bloody form, he went to pick up the corpse pieces. He reached for what appeared to be Sakura's top half. But just as he reached out to pick it up….

*POOF*

LOGGED

Sasuke stared with a WTF face at the log for several seconds until he cried out.

"I REALLY HATE THE LOG!!!!!"

Unfortunately, while Sasuke was busy in his angst over the log that had appeared to be Sakura, he didn't notice the killer intent welling up behind him.

"Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke felt a feeling come over him, as the sudden aura came about that death was approaching him and not even the sharingan could save him.

"Did you try and cop a feel on me earlier when you tried to pick me up…?"

He nervously turned around to find an angry faced pink haired kunoichi, cracking her knuckles with a sadistic smile on he face and she prepared for all hell to break loose on this person she now defined as a pervert.

Sasuke stared nervously back at Sakura trying to explain himself but only one thought raced through his mind as Sakura raised her fist.

_I…AM…SO…SCREWED_

"SHANNAROOOOOOO!!!!!"

As Sasuke flew through the air and hit the ground a few seconds later about a hundred yards away he could only think one thing about his pink haired teammate.

_HOLY CRAP THAT WAS FUCKIN' HOT!!! IF SHE'S THAT STRONG THEN IMAGINE WHAT OUR KIDS WOULD BE LIKE!!! MAYBE I REALLY SHOULD TRY AND RESTORE MY CLAN WITH HER!!! ITACHI WOULDN'T STAND A CHANCE!!!_

It was then when he began to see his teammate in a different light…until the light widened and he saw Lee approaching Sakura asking him to go and train with him.

_OH HELL NO I AM NOT LOSING HER TO HIM OF ALL PEOPLE!!! NOT NOW!! _

It was then when Sasuke ran back up to Sakura and Lee and asked them if he could join them. While it appeared that they all agreed but as they began to walk away, Sasuke and Lee stared at each other behind Sakura's back.

"I won't lose to you."

"Don't count on it! MY SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH SHALL PREVAIL! YOSH!!!!"

As they left Sasuke and Lee did the one thing the anime viewing audience never thought was possible…

_???: Tell me they trip and accidently make out! That'd be fucking hot!_

_H.S: What the hell, Jiraiya! You are one sick guy! I never thought you'd resort to yaoi!!!_

_???: What are you talking about? I'm not Jiraiya…_

_H.S: wait, then…WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!!! Jiraiya is the only one who does the mildly perverted 4__th__ wall breakers normally!_

_???: You really can't tell by now? Well, I guess it's enough keeping the readers in the dark. *steps out*_

_H.S: Oh…my…kami…the apocalypse has finally occurred…_

_Tsunade: What? Even I need to see some of this now and then. It's every healthy woman's dream…plus it is HOT stuff. That's what gets the Hokage wet down there at night!_

_H.S: I am going to go back to writing this story and try to undo the mental rape that has just scarred my mind and caused the end of existence as we know it._

_Tsunade: YAOI FTW!_

Sasuke and Lee glared at each other, doing their best imitation of a Sakura-Ino fan-obsessive rivalry.

Meanwhile, Tenten and Neji were looking at each other affectionately as Neji popped aquestion out of the blue:

"Wanna go out with me?"

And Tenten smiled as she took Neji's arm and left.

All Naruto and Hinata could say as they left the scene with a thought going through their heads was:

_WTF just happened?!_

They stood at the training grounds until Naruto spoke up:

"Maybe we shoud hold off on training today Hina-chan…"

"Yeah, Naruto-kun…"

And they left.

_This story will be on hiatus for a while because I have no ideas where to go from here. Until next time! H.S pulsing out!_


End file.
